Swedish 101: My old notes. Beware: post is rated R

I was privileged to have a friend at Evolution Robotics who was from Sweden. I discovered that I really enjoy the sound of Swedish because hit has 10,000,000,000 vowel sounds -- Americans have about four or five (mawr if we'r edjamicated). Swedish also uses a lot of words that generally that translate to obscenities, which, in my opinion, is a most important criterion.

Every few days, he'd teach me a new Swedish word or phrase, and put a post-it note on my monitor. Eventually, I got good enough to string simple sentences together like, "The window is wobbly." (Det fönster är sladdrig.) Or, even better: "That woman has those big, wobbly windows." (Det brud har de stor, sladder fönstern.) Accompany this with an obscene gesture, and you'll be welcomed into most universities.

So, let the lessons begin! I have clearly marked the part of speech before each set of Swedish / English translations.

Things

det / den	it
ditt / din	your
de	those
har	have / has
tills	until
han	he
brud	girl

Word connector thingies

ja	yes
och	and
för	too
gillar	like

"och" is pronounced "ock," and "gillar" is "jihlaar."

Being needlessly polite

Förlåt	I'm sorry
Ursäkta mig	Excuse me (mig == "may")
Jag skämta (de) bara	I kidded only
Hur är läget?	How is the position?
Det är lugnt.	It is calm.
snubbe	A cool guy.
skitstovel	shitboot (jerk).

Incidentally, "skit" is pronounced like "wheat." "sk" is my favorite Swedish digraph (so far). It is also one of Sweden's favorite digraphs.

Getting around town

fönster	window
Varför?	Why?
vad?	How?/What?
var?	Where?
fan	fuck/damn
skit	shit
skit fan!	WOW!!!!
sjysst	nice
skit sjysst	very nice

"sj" is similar to "sk" in pronunciation. As far as I remember, "sjysst" is pronounced kind of like "hyst," similar to the first syllable of "hysterectomy." (Incidentally, hysterectomy and hysteria share the same root word. Don't tell the womyn.)

Descriptive terms

hård	hard
styv	hard (penis)
sladder	wobbly
sladdrig	wobbly
sladdrar	is wobbling
stor	big
liten	small
jävligt	very
full	drunk
ful	ugly
fet	fat

Apparently "stor" is pronounced "stoor."
My notes also say: "fiet" Oike (oilce?) fiat. I wish I could read my writing. Continuing.

Common greeting phrases

Be!	Beg!
ber	begs
bad	begged
Be om nåd, svenne!	Beg about mercy, swede!
I helvete heller!	In hell either/neither (like HELL!)
Det ska du skita i!	It shall you shit in! (None of your business)
jävla skit!	fucking shit!

Drinking and dating

sug	suck
Sup skallen i bitar!	Drink the head to (in) pieces!
Rattan mein kuk!	Drive my dick!
Rattan mein titten	Drive my breasts!

The last two phrases, if you say them, will make sense to no one.

Holidays
Unfortunately, I don't have the real Swedish spelling of the following phrase. It is presented in a pseudo-phonetic English:

Ah-preel, Ah-preel, din duma sill, yawg kun loorah day vart yawg veal-eh.
means, "April, april, you stupid herring. I can trick any way I will."

And finally, my first Swedish phrase:
Loora kawka means quadriceps cookie. This refers to what happens if you hit the upper part of your leg really hard.