I'll have you know that I'm the Prince of European Identity Crisis. Oh yes. To use a horrible writing cliche, 'it all began' back when I was born. But after that, I traveled to Germany and Sweden. And, suddenly and unexpectedly, on the flight back, the "Luftansa" airline attendant made a point of asking everyone on the plane what they would like to drink; I think she was really trying to offer us potable refreshments.
Several rows ahead of me (I was in tourist class in the Airbus -- I'm not that "wealthy," if you get my drift), she began asking people what they would like. In English. She slowly bumbled towards my row, riding the airline turbulence like a seasoned cowboy rides a Tennessee Walker, asking each successive row's occupants their beverage preference.
Eventually, she made it to my row. She asked me what I would like to drink. IN GERMAN. So, with my best and wittiest parlance, I replied, "Bitte ein schtillis vasserlaksjdlaksdjfoinadf," just like a good German. I also added a couple of 'yah-yahs' par excellence. Yep. Out of all the occupants in the airline ahead of me, she thought I was the most Krauty. Even the two occupants to my left and right were asked their preference in English -- they simply weren't Euro enough for her! Oh, no, they were most certainly not.
Suitably impressed and clearly assured that I spoke her native tongue, she returned with my drink. As she carried on down the aisle, nothing else was ever said between the two of us. To this day, I still assume that she's still somewhere far above us all, fording the swiftly flowing jet stream, at altitudes often exceeding 9,000 meters.
Not surprisingly, I was totally addicted to house music during the period of 1997-2002, including BlΓΌmchen, remixes of Nena, and Toy-Box. Please don't think less of me because of this, but I'd like people to think of it as extracurricular intracultural studies. Sometimes, I still watch the "Heut Ist Mein Tag" music video when I want to be generally creeped out and made to feel like I have some sort of overtly Teutonic raver-girlfriend.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Cold War... History?
Read a fascinating story about the United States' missile tracking systems that were developed in the 1960's, entitled BMEWS - 510 Full Days. I'm sure many have read this site already, but for me, it was a very interesting to see how the author believes that mutual assured destruction (MAD) was necessary to keep the United States, the USSR, and the rest of the world safe for over thirty years.
Few people are probably aware of the sale of US missile launch and guidance technology under the Clinton administration during the 1996 election cycle. Even fewer are aware that monies given to the Clintons were laundered through a Buddhist temple southeast of my church's location -- was that money given to ease the transfer of US satellite technologies into Chinese hands?
Guess what was actually occupying the minds of the American populace in the late 1990's? Monica Lewinsky.
Historians have a LOT of work to do - a lot of ground to cover - when looking at the politics of the previous decade. So, just how clean is Hillary Clinton's nose, I wonder?
Few people are probably aware of the sale of US missile launch and guidance technology under the Clinton administration during the 1996 election cycle. Even fewer are aware that monies given to the Clintons were laundered through a Buddhist temple southeast of my church's location -- was that money given to ease the transfer of US satellite technologies into Chinese hands?
Guess what was actually occupying the minds of the American populace in the late 1990's? Monica Lewinsky.
Historians have a LOT of work to do - a lot of ground to cover - when looking at the politics of the previous decade. So, just how clean is Hillary Clinton's nose, I wonder?
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Never start a business in January
As a small business owner, determining methods to avoid taxation is not an issue of principle; it is an issue of survival. The easiest example: suppose you score a six-month contracting gig, followed by a year of no work. If you begin the contract on the first of January, you report all $100,000 of your income in a single taxable year. As a result, your tax bracket is ridiculous. Now, suppose you began the work on the first of June, and are paid weekly. In one taxable year, you make $50,000, and in the next, $50,000. As a result, your income more accurately models reality.
That said, I read a Wikipedia article about Hollywood accounting, and found it unscrupulous.
Oh, if there were something that I could do to increase the overhead costs associated with the production of software!!
That said, I read a Wikipedia article about Hollywood accounting, and found it unscrupulous.
Oh, if there were something that I could do to increase the overhead costs associated with the production of software!!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Going "Postal"
I hate waste. As an engineer, few things infuriate me more than what I perceive as waste (my perception of waste, however, is of course subjective, and is a different topic).
That stated, I hate going to the supermarket and buying stamps in indivisible monetary increments; e.g. I need to ship a $.69 letter. So what do I do? I put two $.39 stamps on it for a total cost of $.78, and pay over 13% more than what I actually need to pay to send my letter. This actually infuriates me every time I contemplate sending a heavyweight letter (I swear, I'm going to die of an ulcer). Now, compound that with the knowledge that I purchased my stamps at a Wells Fargo ATM at over an 8.5% mark-up; it seems to be a little-known fact that Wells Fargo does charge you extra for stamps at any of their convenient ATMs, but people assume that they're just getting as many stamps as they're paying for. According to a business article published in 2000, Wells Fargo is the leading seller of postage in the country (aside from the USPS itself). And, not surprisingly, it is very difficult to obtain figures on how much Wells Fargo actually marks up the cost of postage at the ATM. Talk about a betrayal of a "good-neighbor-supermarket" mentality.
So, a while back, I noticed that the USPS was now authorizing vendors to print custom stamps with two-dimensional bar codes. I have always thought that was a brilliantly dumb move for the USPS, since people could order postage conveniently and instantly at any needed value; however, it made me feel better knowing that I could make things more efficient -- if indeed I cared to.
Today I decided enough was enough, and, since it's been several years since their online postage went live, I thought that I would figure out how to send my letter using online postage. So, I did some Internet searches, and found that almost all signs, all banner ads, all former online postage companies, point to the evil stamps.com...
According to other websites, Stamps.com used to offer some different price plans that didn't include a monthly subscription to their wallet-sucking service. And truthfully, it would be convenient if I sent, say, $150 worth of correspondence through the mail every month. But I know of no consumer that sends 300 letters out in one month. So here begins my rant concluding Stamps.com is to be avoided.
The first thing you notice is that the Stamps.com website forces you to put in your mailing and credit card information in for your "free trial" of their service. There really isn't much other information available without having an "account." This tactic is really associated with slick, unscrupulous Internet businesses. At this point I would have immediately aborted, if I wasn't so fed up with the aforementioned postal wastage. Continuing:
Stamps.com formerly appears to have been targeting mass-market consumers. But recently, they have restricted price plans so that they require a $15.99 monthly fee. This move seems to indicate that their pitch to mass-market failed, and now they are getting more desperate. I don't trust the service based on this intuition.
Furthermore, in order to even find this out, you have to insert your personal information into their registration form and click "submit." This scares me as a consumer -- this information should be freely available without having to provide personal information.
And the final (and most horrifying) concern is that the procedure for canceling your account is deeply buried and is not automated. It requires a phone call into a call center. The call center was efficient, however, at canceling the account, but I wonder just how much of my personal information they have retained...
All I really wanted to do was to print one stamp. One stamp. I would have gladly paid 5% more to do this online, because it saves me a good amount of money at that price point. Sadly, it seems that the USPS still has no convenient, viable alternative to standard, indivisible postage that is targeted at the casual consumer. For the USPS, this makes sense for the aforementioned reasons. However, the sleazy feeling I get from stamps.com's website makes me quite uneasy.
That stated, I hate going to the supermarket and buying stamps in indivisible monetary increments; e.g. I need to ship a $.69 letter. So what do I do? I put two $.39 stamps on it for a total cost of $.78, and pay over 13% more than what I actually need to pay to send my letter. This actually infuriates me every time I contemplate sending a heavyweight letter (I swear, I'm going to die of an ulcer). Now, compound that with the knowledge that I purchased my stamps at a Wells Fargo ATM at over an 8.5% mark-up; it seems to be a little-known fact that Wells Fargo does charge you extra for stamps at any of their convenient ATMs, but people assume that they're just getting as many stamps as they're paying for. According to a business article published in 2000, Wells Fargo is the leading seller of postage in the country (aside from the USPS itself). And, not surprisingly, it is very difficult to obtain figures on how much Wells Fargo actually marks up the cost of postage at the ATM. Talk about a betrayal of a "good-neighbor-supermarket" mentality.So, a while back, I noticed that the USPS was now authorizing vendors to print custom stamps with two-dimensional bar codes. I have always thought that was a brilliantly dumb move for the USPS, since people could order postage conveniently and instantly at any needed value; however, it made me feel better knowing that I could make things more efficient -- if indeed I cared to.
Today I decided enough was enough, and, since it's been several years since their online postage went live, I thought that I would figure out how to send my letter using online postage. So, I did some Internet searches, and found that almost all signs, all banner ads, all former online postage companies, point to the evil stamps.com...
According to other websites, Stamps.com used to offer some different price plans that didn't include a monthly subscription to their wallet-sucking service. And truthfully, it would be convenient if I sent, say, $150 worth of correspondence through the mail every month. But I know of no consumer that sends 300 letters out in one month. So here begins my rant concluding Stamps.com is to be avoided.
The first thing you notice is that the Stamps.com website forces you to put in your mailing and credit card information in for your "free trial" of their service. There really isn't much other information available without having an "account." This tactic is really associated with slick, unscrupulous Internet businesses. At this point I would have immediately aborted, if I wasn't so fed up with the aforementioned postal wastage. Continuing:
Stamps.com formerly appears to have been targeting mass-market consumers. But recently, they have restricted price plans so that they require a $15.99 monthly fee. This move seems to indicate that their pitch to mass-market failed, and now they are getting more desperate. I don't trust the service based on this intuition.
Furthermore, in order to even find this out, you have to insert your personal information into their registration form and click "submit." This scares me as a consumer -- this information should be freely available without having to provide personal information.
And the final (and most horrifying) concern is that the procedure for canceling your account is deeply buried and is not automated. It requires a phone call into a call center. The call center was efficient, however, at canceling the account, but I wonder just how much of my personal information they have retained...
All I really wanted to do was to print one stamp. One stamp. I would have gladly paid 5% more to do this online, because it saves me a good amount of money at that price point. Sadly, it seems that the USPS still has no convenient, viable alternative to standard, indivisible postage that is targeted at the casual consumer. For the USPS, this makes sense for the aforementioned reasons. However, the sleazy feeling I get from stamps.com's website makes me quite uneasy.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Changing the color of the zoomed crosshair in Half Life 2 Deathmatch
Occasionally, the gamer in me likes to indulge in first-person shoot-em-up goodness. Recently, I've been playing Half Life 2 on KiTTeNChaoSS's [KAT] House 4. I got frustrated with the color of the crosshair when zoomed in, so I came up with an inventive hack that seems to help. The following procedure modifies the zoomed in crosshair appearance so that a small circle is drawn almost on center (apparently the Valve guys didn't center the crosshair artwork perfectly).
In order to modify the crosshair, you'll need to download and install the GCFScape utility, which allows you to extract resources from your half-life installation.
If you want to copy these instructions to your website or publication, you must include the following credit:
Zoomed Crosshair Color Hack
Step 1: Extract resources
Use GCFScape to open the following file:
Once this file is open, we're going to need to extract two resource files. In the left column, open the resource hierarchy and find
Extract this resource node by right-clicking and selecting Extract, and save it under the following directory:
(if the directory doesn't exist, create it.)
Next, navigate the resource hierarchy in the left pane again, and this time, navigate to
Extract this resource node and save it inside the following directory:
(if the directory doesn't exist, create it.)
Step 2: Modify values
Open
Save your changes, and open the other extracted resource file,
We're going to modify the HUD so that the circles that are normally drawn in the zoomed reticle are drawn a lot smaller. The properties we're interested in are called "HudZoom" and are near line 194:
Save your changes, and proceed to lock your files so that HL2 won't over-write them. This step may require that you use NTFS on your drive -- FAT32 may not support file locking attributes.
Step 3: Lock files
Using the Windows explorer, navigate to the
Repeat this procedure for the
In order to modify the crosshair, you'll need to download and install the GCFScape utility, which allows you to extract resources from your half-life installation.
If you want to copy these instructions to your website or publication, you must include the following credit:
Zoomed Crosshair Color Hack
| Before: |
 Reticle is useless and crosshair doesn't show up on white background |
| After: |
 Subtle, but helpful on all-white background |
Step 1: Extract resources
Use GCFScape to open the following file:
C:\Program Files\Valve\Steam\SteamApps\half-life 2 deathmatch.gcfOnce this file is open, we're going to need to extract two resource files. In the left column, open the resource hierarchy and find
root/hl2mp/scripts/HudLayout.resExtract this resource node by right-clicking and selecting Extract, and save it under the following directory:
C:\Program Files\Valve\Steam\SteamApps\*STEAM_USERNAME*\half-life 2 deathmatch\hl2mp\scripts(if the directory doesn't exist, create it.)
Next, navigate the resource hierarchy in the left pane again, and this time, navigate to
root/hl2mp/resource/ClientScheme.resExtract this resource node and save it inside the following directory:
C:\Program Files\Valve\Steam\SteamApps\*STEAM_USERNAME*\half-life 2 deathmatch\hl2mp\resource(if the directory doesn't exist, create it.)
Step 2: Modify values
Open
C:\Program Files\Valve\Steam\SteamApps\*STEAM_USERNAME*\half-life 2 deathmatch\hl2mp\resource\ClientScheme.resin your favorite text editor. You'll need to edit the "ZoomReticleColor" property, which is roughly on line 58:
// weapon selection colors
"SelectionNumberFg" "255 220 0 255"
"SelectionTextFg" "255 220 0 255"
"SelectionEmptyBoxBg" "0 0 0 80"
"SelectionBoxBg" "0 0 0 80"
"SelectionSelectedBoxBg" "0 0 0 80"
"ZoomReticleColor" "0 255 0 255Save your changes, and open the other extracted resource file,
C:\Program Files\Valve\Steam\SteamApps\*STEAM_USERNAME*\half-life 2 deathmatch\hl2mp\scripts\HudLayout.resWe're going to modify the HUD so that the circles that are normally drawn in the zoomed reticle are drawn a lot smaller. The properties we're interested in are called "HudZoom" and are near line 194:
HudZoom
{
"fieldName" "HudZoom"
"visible" "1"
"enabled" "1"
"Circle1Radius" "0"
"Circle2Radius" "1""DashGap" "16"
"DashHeight" "4"
"BorderThickness" "88"
}Save your changes, and proceed to lock your files so that HL2 won't over-write them. This step may require that you use NTFS on your drive -- FAT32 may not support file locking attributes.
Step 3: Lock files
Using the Windows explorer, navigate to the
HudLayout.res file first. Right-click on the file in the shell, and select "Properties." Under the Attributes section, check Read-Only. Click the Apply button.Repeat this procedure for the
ClientScheme.res file as well.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Change and the truth
The fact is: the truth is plainly obvious to those who have willingness to accept it, and have the desire for something different. For example, I have my own problems, and plenty of them. Furthermore, I hide those problems from myself, and lie to myself that they had ever existed. Likewise, she's intelligent -- she knows the truth, and she lies to herself. And again, likewise, when "reminded," intellectually, of her real situation, she becomes obstinate and angry, much like a wounded animal that has been backed into a corner. I'm sure that the two of you also know the truths about your marriage and one another. But you've found some sort of minimally functional way of carrying on, without fully dealing with the real deep problems. I've often wondered why mental illnesses are so often associated with high intelligence, and perhaps it lies in the ability of brilliant minds to create such detailed and elaborate self-deceptions. All of us operate this way, until we have the overwhelming desire for change in our lives.
This change is borne in our convictions. In all of us, we have unwavering strengths and passions that God has blessed us with -- and these are the points where we can begin to battle evil in our lives. I know, from my own experience and counseling, that I will always have an overwhelming and irrational desire to seek approval from my father. This can be considered a negative attribute, but at the same time, a hidden strength. I can, and do, seek perfection in the tasks that I set for myself, to illustrate to others (and dad) that I am worthy of him. I am driven to repair that which is broken (so that, somehow, I will receive the approval, from my father, that I crave). But now that I am aware of this fault of mine, and I am now free of this burden. I can now challenge myself to mend the broken things, but instead of seeking approval and glory for myself, I can offer my time as a sacrifice that glorifies my heavenly Father, who has already fully accepted me, loved me, and blessed my life. And now I can kill the sinful need that I was born into -- sin passed on from my father's father, to my father, and then to me -- I can send it to the grave; I can name it Evil, and bury it at the foot of the cross, and pray that a new life and joy will fill my wicked heart that is so ignorant of the words from Psalm 139: "How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand."
This change is borne in our convictions. In all of us, we have unwavering strengths and passions that God has blessed us with -- and these are the points where we can begin to battle evil in our lives. I know, from my own experience and counseling, that I will always have an overwhelming and irrational desire to seek approval from my father. This can be considered a negative attribute, but at the same time, a hidden strength. I can, and do, seek perfection in the tasks that I set for myself, to illustrate to others (and dad) that I am worthy of him. I am driven to repair that which is broken (so that, somehow, I will receive the approval, from my father, that I crave). But now that I am aware of this fault of mine, and I am now free of this burden. I can now challenge myself to mend the broken things, but instead of seeking approval and glory for myself, I can offer my time as a sacrifice that glorifies my heavenly Father, who has already fully accepted me, loved me, and blessed my life. And now I can kill the sinful need that I was born into -- sin passed on from my father's father, to my father, and then to me -- I can send it to the grave; I can name it Evil, and bury it at the foot of the cross, and pray that a new life and joy will fill my wicked heart that is so ignorant of the words from Psalm 139: "How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand."
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Best worship ever
I attended Holy Trinity church, served by Pastor Cwirla, today. What an amazing service. For those unfamiliar with Lutheran liturgical tradition, you should visit Holy Trinity -- the congregation adheres to it with passion and interest.
I completely broke down, crying, with a troubled spirit; I communed with the saints, and felt the Lord touch my life. Just simply wonderful. In retrospect, changes in my attitude alone in the midst of all of this seem remarkable to me. As absurd as it sounds, I came to church grumpy that my roommate and I didn't share the same ride to church; doing so, in my view, would have "saved time." Instead, he elected to drive with his girlfriend (-- and this made me angry?!?). I could barely pay attention to my confession and absolution. Scripture slowly worked its way in, and I was able to become aware of the gravity of my sins and the pains of my heart (this week, I broke up with my wonderful girlfriend of 2.5 years). I broke down. I sobbed, choked up; I tried to sing along with the hymns before I communed. Tears streamed down my face as I followed to the altar, knelt, and received the Word with the bread and wine with a heart that was as broken and contrite as ever I can remember. Furthermore, since I had not communed at Holy Trinity before, I was asked point blank, at the altar, by Pastor, what I believed -- and I confessed my faith in Christ, my baptism, and my knowledge of my own depravity. Simply recalling this series of events still evokes tears and a profound peace.
The Pastor gave an amazing exhortation concerning Christian freedoms -- free in Christ but slave to all -- but then had an even more fascinating Bible study.
I don't understand why his Bible study isn't jam-packed with interested parties. It simply astounds and amazes me that the two Bible studies that have blessed my life -- the one at Holy Trinity, and the one at Faith -- are not heavily attended by the congregants of each respective church. I simply do not understand why they would give up such an opportunity for learning and spiritual growth. I am personally excited and very interested in sharing this experience with others.
More than anything else, the lack of member attendance at these studies is... disturbing.
I completely broke down, crying, with a troubled spirit; I communed with the saints, and felt the Lord touch my life. Just simply wonderful. In retrospect, changes in my attitude alone in the midst of all of this seem remarkable to me. As absurd as it sounds, I came to church grumpy that my roommate and I didn't share the same ride to church; doing so, in my view, would have "saved time." Instead, he elected to drive with his girlfriend (-- and this made me angry?!?). I could barely pay attention to my confession and absolution. Scripture slowly worked its way in, and I was able to become aware of the gravity of my sins and the pains of my heart (this week, I broke up with my wonderful girlfriend of 2.5 years). I broke down. I sobbed, choked up; I tried to sing along with the hymns before I communed. Tears streamed down my face as I followed to the altar, knelt, and received the Word with the bread and wine with a heart that was as broken and contrite as ever I can remember. Furthermore, since I had not communed at Holy Trinity before, I was asked point blank, at the altar, by Pastor, what I believed -- and I confessed my faith in Christ, my baptism, and my knowledge of my own depravity. Simply recalling this series of events still evokes tears and a profound peace.
The Pastor gave an amazing exhortation concerning Christian freedoms -- free in Christ but slave to all -- but then had an even more fascinating Bible study.
I don't understand why his Bible study isn't jam-packed with interested parties. It simply astounds and amazes me that the two Bible studies that have blessed my life -- the one at Holy Trinity, and the one at Faith -- are not heavily attended by the congregants of each respective church. I simply do not understand why they would give up such an opportunity for learning and spiritual growth. I am personally excited and very interested in sharing this experience with others.
More than anything else, the lack of member attendance at these studies is... disturbing.
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