I was privileged to have a friend at Evolution Robotics who was from Sweden. I discovered that I really enjoy the sound of Swedish because hit has 10,000,000,000 vowel sounds -- Americans have about four or five (mawr if we'r edjamicated). Swedish also uses a lot of words that generally that translate to obscenities, which, in my opinion, is a most important criterion.
Every few days, he'd teach me a new Swedish word or phrase, and put a post-it note on my monitor. Eventually, I got good enough to string simple sentences together like, "The window is wobbly." (
Det fönster är sladdrig.) Or, even better: "That woman has those big, wobbly windows." (
Det brud har de stor, sladder fönstern.) Accompany this with an obscene gesture, and you'll be welcomed into most universities.
So, let the lessons begin! I have clearly marked the part of speech before each set of Swedish / English translations.
Things
| det / den | it |
| ditt / din | your |
| de | those |
| har | have / has |
| tills | until |
| han | he |
| brud | girl |
Word connector thingies
| ja | yes |
| och | and |
| för | too |
| gillar | like |
"och" is pronounced "ock," and "gillar" is "jihlaar."
Being needlessly polite
| Förlåt | I'm sorry |
| Ursäkta mig | Excuse me (mig == "may") |
| Jag skämta (de) bara | I kidded only |
| Hur är läget? | How is the position? |
| Det är lugnt. | It is calm. |
| snubbe | A cool guy. |
| skitstovel | shitboot (jerk). |
Incidentally, "skit" is pronounced like "wheat." "sk" is my favorite Swedish digraph (so far). It is also one of Sweden's favorite digraphs.
Getting around town
| fönster | window |
| Varför? | Why? |
| vad? | How?/What? |
| var? | Where? |
| fan | fuck/damn |
| skit | shit |
| skit fan! | WOW!!!! |
| sjysst | nice |
| skit sjysst | very nice |
"sj" is similar to "sk" in pronunciation. As far as I remember, "sjysst" is pronounced kind of like "hyst," similar to the first syllable of "hysterectomy." (Incidentally, hysterectomy and hysteria share the same root word. Don't tell the womyn.)
Descriptive terms
| hård | hard |
| styv | hard (penis) |
| sladder | wobbly |
| sladdrig | wobbly |
| sladdrar | is wobbling |
| stor | big |
| liten | small |
| jävligt | very |
| full | drunk |
| ful | ugly |
| fet | fat |
Apparently "stor" is pronounced "stoor."
My notes also say: "fiet" Oike (oilce?) fiat. I wish I could read my writing. Continuing.
Common greeting phrases
| Be! | Beg! |
| ber | begs |
| bad | begged |
| Be om nåd, svenne! | Beg about mercy, swede! |
| I helvete heller! | In hell either/neither (like HELL!) |
| Det ska du skita i! | It shall you shit in! (None of your business) |
| jävla skit! | fucking shit! |
Drinking and dating
| sug | suck |
| Sup skallen i bitar! | Drink the head to (in) pieces! |
| Rattan mein kuk! | Drive my dick! |
| Rattan mein titten | Drive my breasts! |
The last two phrases, if you say them, will make sense to no one.
HolidaysUnfortunately, I don't have the real Swedish spelling of the following phrase. It is presented in a pseudo-phonetic English:
Ah-preel, Ah-preel, din duma sill, yawg kun loorah day vart yawg veal-eh.means, "April, april, you stupid herring. I can trick any way I will."
And finally, my first Swedish phrase:
Loora kawka means quadriceps cookie. This refers to what happens if you hit the upper part of your leg really hard.